She wanted to want to

She would have liked to see Swann and Tansonville again; but the mere wish to do so sufficed for all that remained of her strength, which its fulfillment would have more than exhausted.


He is referring to his aunt, but more to the point, he is talking again about longing. Proust is an expert in longing, having examined its every facet under a most powerful metaphysical microscope. To Proust all longing is at root implacable. This particular twist is subtle and poignant, a particular kind of impossible longing, mobiusly turned back on itself, both existing and negating its existence at the same time. His aunt's desire to visit Swann at Tansonville could not be fulfilled, she had not strength for it. So she allowed herself to be satisfied merely wanting to go. More precisely, she wanted to want to, but didn't actually want to. And who among us doesn't know what that's like?